Exercises To Calm Your Anxious Thoughts
Understanding Anxiety
Psychologists have long recognized two basic forms of anxiety— appropriate and inappropriate stress. Any experience perceived as a threat can trigger anxiety by causing our bodies to go into the “Fight or Flight” response.
During fight or flight, part of the limbic system known as the sympathetic nervous system (SNS) gets turned on by a cascade of neurochemical reactions which creates a physiological state of readiness to encounter danger. You may notice a rapid heartbeat, nervous feelings, panic feeling, sweating, shortness of breath, and many other well-known symptoms of SNS arousal.
SNS response can occur when a situation is a real threat, when we are reminded about a past situation that threatened us, or when we just imagine or think about something that is negative or stressful. Stress and anxiety can also become chronic when we consistently are overloaded with too much to do or when we are regularly unsure how to accomplish what we need to do to survive. Regular and frequent activation of the SNS is known to cause chronic illness, psychological and emotional burnout, and interpersonal issues.
Dialectical Behavior Therapy
Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is type of cognitive behavioral therapy that brings together concepts of mindfulness from Eastern philosophies with behavioral principles from Western psychology for being with and regulating the internal experience. While DBT was initially created and continues to be used in the treatment of personality disorders, it is also an effective tool for people with anxiety. The following techniques should be practiced often so they become “second nature” and become automatic when we notice the signs of SNS arousal.
Use breathwork
No matter where we go, our breath always stays with us. We can therefore rely on our breathing as an anchor for the present moment. Additionally, our breath acts as a mediator for our nervous system and can be consciously altered to create a different physiological experience.
Try this. Take deep breaths in, but shorten your exhale. Do this about ten times, lengthening your inhale but not exhaling fully. Then, close your eyes and notice your heart rate and how you feel inside. Then, do the opposite. Take short breaths in, elongating the exhale until all the breath has been pushed out of your lungs. Do this about ten times, closing your eyes and noticing how this experience is different than the first.
The long inhales and short exhales mimic the physiology of hyperventilation, a type of stress response. The elongated exhales calm the body back down, helping to deactivate the SNS. Watch videos of Diaphragmatic Breathing for stress relief. Practice regularly when you are calm to build the muscle memory so you can use your breath during stressful moments when you need to switch out of fight or flight.
Use your voice
Often we become overwhelmed and stressed when we haven’t been setting boundaries in our daily lives. As a result, we aren’t living in alignment with our inner truth of what we know is right for us, perhaps because we are afraid of hurting others or of how they might hurt or reject us if we openly expressed what we need and feel.
Saying “no” can be the most important tool you ever learn. Practice saying it in front of the mirror. No!!! On a sticky note, remind yourself “Saying YES to myself sometimes means saying NO to others.” How often do you do just the opposite? Being a people pleaser often leads to resentments and burnout. If it’s too hard to start saying “No,” try starting with “Let me think about it.” This response can give you the space to calm your nervous system as you build your courage for self expression.
Sometimes what we need is to simply say no. Other times, what we need is to be able to ask for something from others. Marshall Rosenberg’s Nonviolent Communication tools are useful for when we are ready to set the boundaries we need to protect ourselves from the stress of anxiety that comes from not living our truth.
Use the senses
The five senses are our incoming data streams that give us information about our present moment experience. By tapping into what’s happening around us right now, we can create a sense of safety and stillness that calms any worries about the past or future by reminding us that we are in the present now and have control over this part of our experience.
Use vision- Go on a walk someplace beautiful and really take in the colors, shapes, and lighting. Look around you wherever you are and notice the different textures and shades.
Use hearing- Stop and listen to nature or music. Listen to your own breath. Notice three different sounds you hear right now.
Use touch- Pet your animal, walk barefoot in the grass, give yourself a mini massage, or take a warm bath or shower. Really feel the textures and temperatures against your skin.
Use taste- Eat a small treat or drink warm tea, taking small bites or sips and tuning into all aspects of the experience, such as the texture, the flavor, the feeling of chewing or drinking, and the way your body feels after you swallow.
Use smell- Inhale the fresh smells of nature, or a candle, or scented lotion. Keep lavender essential oils nearby and diffuse them or sprinkle onto the inside of your wrist so that you can come back to the smell when you feel overwhelmed.
Use sleep
Keep track of your sleep patterns and utilize sleep hygiene skills such as an evening routine to ensure that you get enough, but not to much, sleep. Around 7-9 hours is typically enough sleep for most people. Experiment until you find the right amount for your body. Sleep is a crucial factor in preparing the body to face our many daily choices and activities.
Use mindfulness
Practice Mindfulness on a regular basis, for at least 7-10 minutes each day. This practice involves cultivating awareness of our moment-to-moment thoughts without clinging to or following any particular thoughts.
This skill allows us to also shift our awareness when we are overwhelmed by mindfully releasing our tendency to follow that stressful thought spiral and attend instead to our breath, the senses, or some other less anxiety producing thought or situation. This technique must be practiced on a regular basis when you feel relaxed and safe to achieve the full benefits in stressful situations.
Use mastery
There are many things you do well that may not be in the front of your mind when feeling anxious. Typically in those stressful moments we focus on everything that is going wrong or feels out of our control. Instead, focus on what you can accomplish and control, such as caring for a pet, tidying your immediate environment, preparing a nutritious meal, reading a book, or working on a project.
Use exercise
Exercise releases a cascade of neurotransmitters that floods the body with pleasant sensations. Even just a brisk 15-minute walk every day can reduce stress and give us a moment to practice using our senses, feeling our breath, and using mastery. Exercise can be an easy way of tying together many of the other skills from this list. Find an activity that you enjoy and can get you in a rhythm or repetition, such as swimming, biking, or yoga.
Use your brain
Most of these tools so far focus on the body and senses for emotional regulation, a modality known by cognitive psychologists as “bottom up.” We can also use “top down” processes like thinking and cognition to self soothe.
Simply engage in any activity that requires focused thought, such as a hobby, puzzles, word searches, and reading. This activates the part of the frontal lobe responsible for executive functioning. Increased blood flow and subsequent oxygenation of this region of the brain can move the body out of fight or flight.
Use compassion
Sometimes stressful situations become even more distressing because we feel they are unfair and that we are alone in the injustice of suffering. It can help to normalize our situation and to realize that others are also experiencing pain and hardship.
Take the focus off yourself for a moment by asking, how can I make a difference or contribute to others? This may be a formal volunteer situation or just doing something nice for someone in the moment.
Use pleasure
We all need fun, connection, and social engagement to feel that our lives have purpose and are worth living. Plan pleasant and fun activities in advance. Try to create a break in your normal routine every month or two to change your scenery or do something different and interesting. Plan small breaks throughout your workday for five minutes to do something pleasurable, such as taking a walk or chatting with a loved one.
Keep practicing
These are just a few of the techniques DBT gives us to manage anxiety or stress. These tools do take practice and commitment so decide today when you will be able to incorporate them into your daily routine and you will start to notice the impacts. It takes forty days of consistency to create a new habit and begin to experience the full effects of these strategies.
These tools represent only a fraction of what DBT has to offer by combining behavioral, cognitive and mindfulness techniques. For additional support, consider our DBT groups which provide a safe atmosphere to learn and practice these skills so they will be available for use when you need them the most.
