Exploring Internal Family Systems (IFS): A Journey to Self-Compassion and Healing
By: Katie Huber-Rhoades
Internal Family Systems (IFS) is one of the most commonly used therapy approaches and for good reason. Developed by Richard C. Schwartz in the 1980s, the Internal Family Systems model presents an integrative approach to individual psychotherapy, blending Systems Thinking with the notion that the mind is comprised of multiple subpersonalities.
Put simply, IFS refers to the way in which an individual’s brain thinks about itself and, in turn, thinks about others. This concept is also depicted in the Disney Pixar movie, Inside Out, as multiple different emotion characters (Joy, Sadness, Anger, Fear, Disgust) symbolize what IFS terms as "parts."
What Are Our Parts?
Parts can be thoughts, feelings, sensations, or images that are developed in response to past experiences, trauma, or protective mechanisms. Each part embodies a unique viewpoint that operates with the aim of serving a purpose in our lives. While some reactions may not be beneficial, IFS teaches us that no part is inherently "bad" or "good.” Rather, each part is meant to assist us in navigating the complexities of life. Still, it’s important to understand how our internal parts can sometimes conflict with one another and with our core Self.
The Notion of Self in Internal Family Systems
In Internal Family Systems (IFS), the notion of the Self describes the core essence of a person. Alternate terms frequently employed to depict the Self include intuition, inner wisdom, instinct, or any inherent perception of truth or future occurrences. The Self is essentially the leader of your internal system that can provide guidance and healing.
When certain parts get activated, we can begin to lose trust in the Self. This can result in extreme beliefs, emotions, or fantasies which can override other core beliefs from our Self. However, when the different parts of ourselves are working together (rather than against one another), we find that our Self is competent, secure, self-assured, relaxed, and able to listen and respond to feedback. In this state, we are able to encompass compassion, curiosity, clarity, creativity, calm, confidence, courage, and connectedness, known in IFS as the 8 C's.
The goal of IFS therapy is to heal wounded parts of ourself to create psychological balance and harmony by developing a relationship with our internal world. By doing so, we can unburden our parts and learn to access the 8 C's to promote deeper, more connected relationships with ourselves and others.
Dissecting the Parts: Three Key Elements of Internal Family Systems
In order to heal our wounds and facilitate a symbiotic operating system between our parts and our Self, we first need to understand how to recognize and respond to our parts appropriately. In the IFS model, there are three main categories that parts can be filed into: exiles, managers, and firefighters.
Experiencing the "Exiles”:
Exiles are the younger parts of yourself that have experienced trauma. Exiles are often frozen in time, stuck believing you are still young and powerless. These parts can isolate from the rest of the system in an effort to protect us from feeling pain, fear, terror, shame, and other undesireable emotions that arise from traumatic experiences. Our exiles struggle to trust our core Self as a result of past trauma, which is why they work so hard to protect us.
The "Managers” aka Protective Mechanisms:
Managers are the protective parts of ourself that show up to make sure bad things don’t happen so we can keep moving forward. Managers help prevent our exiles from showing up in a way that could hinder our day-to-day functioning. They are often proactive in their approach, anticipating how to respond to various scenarios in order to keep us safe. Managers can be incredibly helpful when integrated into our self-energy. At the same time, they can become too rigid and cause us to feel anxious, stressed, or overwhelmed.
The "Firefighters” aka Reactive Behaviors and Emotional Responses:
Firefighters are the reactive parts of us that get activated when our most painful and vulnerable emotions begin to surface. Just as firefighters have to react and respond quickly to a fire, our internal firefighters react similarly to the emotional flames of our exiles. Firefighters manifest in behaviors like distractions, self-harm, anger/aggression, obsession, and/or isolation. Addressing the underlying pain that comes from the exiles will help create a less reactive response to find healthier ways to protect yourself.
Benefits of Internal Family Systems
Using the Internal Family Systems model can help enhance self-awareness and self-compassion, improve emotional regulation and resilience, and strengthen interpersonal relationships. By bearing witness to the source of your pain and developing compassion toward the parts of yourself that need guidance, you can begin to experience the many benefits of the 8 C’s and the impact IFS can have on your life.
How to Reflect on Your Internal Parts
There are a few ways you can begin reflecting on your internal parts and characteristics to get to know them better. First, take some time to identify a specific part and then answer the following questions for each part you identify:
How would you describe the role or function of this part in your life?
What does it try to achieve or protect?
How does this part typically show up? Describe the thoughts/emotions/behaviors that occur when this part shows up.
What triggers or activates this part?
How does this part interact with other parts?
What is the intention of this part?
How does this part think it is helping or protecting you?
How do you feel toward this part?
How might you express curiosity/compassion/understanding toward this part?
When we listen to and embrace all parts of ourselves, we can create a deeper connection to our inner world. How we relate to our inner world will ultimately be how we relate to our outer world. Therefore, it’s important to make time to discover the different parts of ourselves and learn to integrate them in ways that will serve us, rather than hinder us.
Exploring IFS With a Therapist
There are many benefits to working with a therapist through the IFS lens. Because therapists are trained in the IFS model, they may be able to better understand your various parts and help you identify and explore them to improve your overall well-being. While there is a divine essence in all of us waiting to be unlocked by ourselves (YOU hold the key), a therapist can help shine a light on the parts of us that may be hidden. If you’re interested in discovering the truth of who you are and learning how to love all parts of yourself radically, reach out to a therapist with Grant Park Counseling Group today.
